Monday, June 24, 2013

Being Social

Last week Clare and I went to the park near our house. It is a great park, full of shade and plenty of play equipment for a child Clare's size. There were children of all ages running about, their moms looking on from benches nearby.

I saw a group of moms with children about Clare's age. At least two of them were pregnant, probably about as far along as me. I want to meet other moms in my neighborhood. I thought about talking to them, but I didn't.

Clare played by herself for awhile on the play equipment, and then dug a hole in the sand with a shovel someone left on the ground. She stood for awhile outside of a group of children playing, watching them. She didn't join in, even though it seemed like she wanted to.

Instead, she came and sat by me on the bench. She had her snack and swung her legs, and we both watched all the people around us.

I am sure with time we'll both make friends in our new neighborhood, but I wish it was easier to just start talking to people. In the mean time, though I can laugh to myself about how similar Clare is to me.  And this video, which shows that at home she is not quiet or shy. 

Ben says this is what I look like when I talk on the phone, too.


  1. I get that. I'm very much the same. I'll smile and say hi, but it's hard to start conversations. I'm trying to get better at it. Mason's a bit more open and will walk up to kids and ask, "What you doing?" But then it's sad when/if he gets ignored. I think daycare is a big part of him being more open around other kids. Adults? Then he gets shy. :)

  2. It can be hard to strike up a conversation out of the blue—with a total stranger—without it feeling forced/fake, esp if the other person isn't much of a conversationalist (it's WORK to carry on a conversation sometimes, you really have to be in the right mood). Is there some type of moms club in your neighborhood? I tried to watch your video, but it was set to private. :)

    1. Oops! I fixed the video, I think.

      And yes, there are some moms clubs in my neighborhood. I need to join!

  3. I am terrible at reaching out/starting conversations. I'm always so jealous of the people who seem to do it so effortlessly. Love the video of Clare! She has so many of your mannerisms! Also, I miss you both!! (And I think I may have used up my exclamation point quota for the day...)

  4. OMG. That video was hilarious! She's much louder and more animated than when she was over at my house. She was probably acting shy around me. :) It's CRAZY to see them mimic us back to us. You're like, "Am I really like that? Oh no."

  5. She must have been pretending to talk to your sister Katie. I can imagine you laughing like that in those conversations!! And at least you know you're a mostly happy, glass-half-full kinda girl, if that's how she's imitating you!


    It can be SO intimidating to talk to people. Sometimes it helps me to pretend I am "journalist Katie" rather than "at home Katie" even if I'm in "at home Katie" mode to approach people. "Journalist Katie" talks to all kinds of people she would normally never approach. My surefire trick to making friends? Once the conversation gets going and both parties seem amenable to it, I say something like "OK, so, we have to be friends now." Or something along those lines. It sounds like kindergarten, but I swear to God, IT NEVER FAILS. I'm not kidding. People ALWAYS respond enthusiastically. Even if the other moms look content or have friends at the park, they are still starving for more. Everyone is. Just remember that! Channel the Emily who can't control the volume of her voice. And remember you are an awesome friend and you have us!