Fourth of July

I've always loved the Fourth of July: when I was a kid, it meant root beer floats, crepe paper streamers on our bikes, sparklers, and fireworks. We were in the midst of summer, still with plenty of time to enjoy ourselves until we had to go back to school. As an adult, it means a day off of work, cookouts, beer, and yeah, I still love fireworks. 

Our little town goes all out for the Fourth. They set up a huge beer tent in the park, have live music every day, all sorts of food, a parade, a run, a classic car show - everything you want in a small town festival. Oh, and a tractor-pull! Who doesn't love a good tractor-pull?

We went to the parade, despite the stifling heat and humidity. Some friends of ours live on Main Street and always host a breakfast party. Hundreds of people line the streets, kids with bags to fill with candy. Clare even got her first bite of parade candy.  She enjoyed seeing all of the tractors and fire trucks. She DID NOT like it when a member of the local VFW discharged his rifle 10 feet from where we were sitting. Frankly, I didn't like that too much, either. The rest of the parade was fun, though.

We took Clare to the beer tent last weekend. Ben and I enjoyed the cold tap beer. Clare enjoyed dancing to the live band.

We plan to go the fireworks tonight. That may be proven to be a poor decision, but hopefully Clare will either enjoy them or sleep through them. No sparklers this year, though! We wouldn't want to start a fire. I hope it cools off soon. Now, it's after noon so I think it is time for a beer. Cheers!

Dada

For the first hour or so of Clare's life, she and Ben snuggled in a hospital chair. Clare slept. I think Ben dozed a bit himself.

 It seems to have created a special bond - a common activity they both enjoy.

 Sometimes the cat joins in.

 I mean, really. Who needs a bed when you've got Daddy?

All the napping aside, Clare adores her Daddy. Sometimes, during the day, she'll look over at the front door. "Dada?" She asks. I explain to her that he is at work. She goes back to playing. As soon as he gets home, though, she lights up like a million bazillion Christmas trees.

I know if she could, she would say thanks for being the best dad a girl could ask for. Since she can't, I'll say it for her: Ben, you rock. Happy Father's Day!

It's My Baby's Party and I'll Faint if I Want To

So I didn't faint at the party, but doing so several hours beforehand was enough to cast a shadow over the day. I was in the bathroom and suddenly felt extremely hot and nauseous. The next thing I knew, I was laying in my shower, battered and bloodied. Even three days later, my nose is bruised, my lip swollen and sore, my neck aching. I didn't go to urgent care on Saturday, despite a deep laceration on the inside of my lip, because I would have missed Clare's party. By Sunday, it was too late for stitches, so I am just waiting for it to (painfully) heal.  Injuries aside, I am fine. The doctor thinks my blood pressure dropped suddenly, and this is not the first time I've fainted. The result was that I was slightly out of it at Clare's party. However, Clare had a blast, and all of the friends and family that came to see her were thoroughly entertained by her antics. And that's what matters, right?

We had a cookout at my parents' house, complete with presents and cake. What more could a birthday girl ask for?

The decorations:

I made a poster with all of Clare's monthly photos from this blog.

I went for a butterfly theme. I even made party favors - clothespins with butterfly stickers, holding pictures of Clare.

The presents:

Clare got lots of great presents: toys, puzzles, books, a Big Bird doll, a family photo album complete with pictures - and this doll, knitted by my friends Christina and Amanda. Clare loved it. She is also getting an armchair with her name on it from her grandparents - it is purple with white polka dots. I can't wait to see it.

Here are her gifts from Mom and Dad. I knitted the koala. (Yes, that is supposed to be a koala bear.)

The cake:

No, I didn't make this. It was delicious, though: chocolate and vanilla with a chocolate mousse filling. Clare's "smash cake" was just vanilla.

Singing to the birthday girl. She wanted to grab the flame desperately.

What. Is. This?

Oh. It is good. Soooo goooood.

Do you want some, Mom?

Clare loved the cake. I had to take it away from her so she wouldn't eat the whole thing and get a stomachache. After cake, she spent the next several hours crawling around to each guest, shrieking with joy. At one point I came into the room, and she practically spun around in her glee at seeing me. Then she crawled towards me, shrieking. That made me feel pretty good.

I had planned to get pictures of Clare with all of her party guests, who included all four grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts, an honorary aunt, and some of Mommy's good friends (who live here in town), but that didn't happen. I did, however, get shots of her with two VIPs:

Great-Grandpa Bob and the birthday girl.

Clare with her namesake, Great-Grandma Clara.

I don't know why, but the first birthday just seems like such a big deal! I don't know if we'll do a big party again next year, but I am glad we did this year. It was a special day for all of us!

The after party:

12 Months (!!!)

Clare is 1! I can hardly believe it. I don’t think she believed me when I showed her a photo of herself as a newborn and told her it was her. It is amazing how different she looks now.

I remember last year's June 7th so clearly. Going into labor, pushing for 3 and a half hours, finally holding Clare in my arms. Then just staring at her for hours, pretty much scared out of my mind. I was so worried that I would hurt her somehow. She seemed so fragile. Those days are certainly gone. Now Clare crawls, cruises, dances, stands for seconds at a time on her own, climbs, and falls on a regular basis. She’s taken one or two steps on her own, and will walk with her push toy or with Mom and Dad’s assistance, so I know she’ll be walking on her own any day.

I am anxiously waiting for her to start talking. She has a few words: this, hat, all done - although I am probably the only one who knows she is saying all done. She shakes her head no. She says ya for yes, like a good Danish girl. I know she understands much of what we say and is taking it all in. She is also busy figuring out how everything works. She loves putting lids on and taking them off and trying to fasten buckles or snaps. She figured out how to get the top off her sippy cup at daycare, and spilled water all over herself. Maybe she will be an engineer like her Daddy.

We’ve started the weaning process. It is going...okay. The first day she was willing to drink a bottle of cow's milk from me, but then last night she had a fit and threw it across the room when I tried to give it to her.  So we'll see how it goes.  Finding something she is willing to eat has been challenging lately, especially because she does not want her food cut into pieces. We went out to eat last week, and when I bent down to pick her folk up off the floor she reached over and grabbed her entire pancake off my plate. She was pretty pleased with herself after that.

We are going to spend a lot of time at the park this summer – Clare loves being outside, although she is still not sure she likes the grass. She’ll crawl on the driveway, though, despite scraping her knees.

Clare is shy at first when she meets strangers, but seems to have basically gotten over any separation anxiety. She loves having family and friends around. If she has an audience, she is happy. I hope she has a great time at her birthday party on Saturday and isn't too overwhelmed by the crowd.

A year and a day ago, I didn’t really understand how people felt when they talked about how strong your love is for a child. Now I know. I am overwhelmed by my feelings some days.

Clare, I love you more than anything in the world. I would do anything for you. I am glad you are such a happy little girl, and I hope your second year is as good as your first one. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Year In Review

Normally, I look back on the year and I think, "Wow, another year over - what the heck did I do?" Well, this year was a bit different, so I decided to borrow once again from other blogs and fill out this end of year questionnaire.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Gave birth to my lovely Clare.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

If I made them, I have no idea what they were. I will probably make some again this year, and promptly forget them. (I did tell my coworker that my New Year’s resolution was to stay away from the vending machine. So there’s that.) Actually, I do have one goal. I want to be cleaner and more organized at home. My house has kind of gotten away from me since Clare was born.

3. Did anyone close to you have a child?

Yes! Oh my. Several of my closest friends had babies, and Clare now has future BFFs/boyfriends Will, Archer, Alice, and Carter.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Thank God.

5. Where did you travel?

We took several trips to the Twin Cities, visited grandparents (Clare's great-grandparents) in La Crosse and Oostburg, and went to a wedding in the U.P. of Michigan.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Sleep.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory?

June 7. Everything else is kind of a blur.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Well, I guess I have to say giving birth to a baby! Also, I am proud of the way Ben and I are handling having a child in our lives. We are still mostly sane.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Ugh. I don't know. I feel like I failed in lots of little ways, but it doesn't seem healthy to dwell on them too much.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Does giving birth count as illness or injury?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Clare's butterfly mobile from an Etsy shop. It was the first thing she really focused on, and still loves it to this day. Also, our new car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Our families have been wonderfully supportive and helpful with Clare, but I have to single out Ben. Having a new baby is stressful, and he has been very patient with me throughout this transition. Also, he was a saint in the delivery room.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Scott. Walker.

14. Where did most of your money go?

New crib, new bookshelf, new baby clothes, sheets, towels, shampoo, toys, nuks, bottles, breast pump, books....I could go on. Oh, and daycare. And a new car. Wow, we spent a lot of money this year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Clare. ALSO: my sister getting married! Her wedding was beautiful, and I adore her new husband. He is a wonderful addition to our family. Even though I think he might sometimes wonder what he got himself into. Don't worry, Andrew. It is worth it!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Mumford & Son's "Roll Your Stone Away." Anything by the ubiquitous Adele.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier. I am not pregnant anymore, but I feel fatter. Definitely poorer with my reduced work schedule, but that is by choice so I am okay with it.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Talked to and spent time with friends, especially pre-baby. Spent time outside. Slept. Can you tell I am tired?

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Wasting time worrying about things I can't control. That is something I always do, though. I don't think it will change.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We ate our way through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my parents' house. I ate my weight in Christmas cookies at visits to both sets of grandparents. We all sat around watching Clare try to eat wrapping paper - it is funny how adults forget how to have a conversation when there is a baby in the room. Their little cheeks are just so distracting!

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Parks and Recreation. Hands down. I also loved 30 Rock, Modern Family, Community, Castle, Justified, and the New Girl. I quit watching Glee. The Office didn't make the list because I miss Steve Carell too much.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No.....I think I hated all the same people in 2010, too.

23. What was the best book you read?

The best book I read was "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand. "Bossypants" by Tina Fey was a close second. The two books are so different you can't compare them, but I enjoyed them equally for very different reasons. Rounding out the top 5:  "City of Light" by Lauren Belfer, "Moon Over Manifest" by Clare Vanderpool, and "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott (I know! I had never read this before. I am way late to the party.)

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don't know if I discovered anything particularly new, but I love Mumford & Sons and She and Him.

25. What did you want and get?

Most importantly, a healthy baby. Earrings for Christmas. A new car.

26. What did you want and not get?

Oh, there are lots of toys I want and didn't get. I'll go with the new iPhone.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

I didn't see many movies this year, but I adored Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. What a finish. I'll miss you, Harry.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I honestly have no recollection of what I did on my birthday. I know I turned 32. Seriously, what did I do? OH. I do remember. Ben and Clare baked me a chocolate chip date cake. It was delicious. They lit the candles in the garage and came in singing to me. It was very sweet.

29. What one [or three] thing[s] would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Dare I say more sleep yet again? Of course, more money would always help. Overall, though, it was a fairly satisfying year.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Anything clean, or at least mostly clean.

31. What kept you sane?

Carving out little moments for myself here and there. Even just an extra long shower when I can get it.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Hmmmm....there wasn't anyone in particular this year but I almost fainted when I saw Ryan Gosling without his shirt in Crazy, Stupid, Love. That man's abs are no joke.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Where to start? Actually, I don't think I will list anything because then this post will turn into a rant rather than a review of the year.

34. Who did you miss?

My friends who live far away. Sometimes I miss my pre-baby self. Is that weird? 

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Clare, of course!

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I don't have anything particularly deep or insightful to say here, but I guess I learned that I can handle a lot more than I thought I could. My priorities changed a lot this year, and that is okay. Some things that seemed so important before, well, I learned that they just aren't. I have a whole new person to worry about, and she comes before anything else in the world. I simply can't imagine my life without her. 

Halloween

When I was a kid, I loved Halloween. We always ate homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner, and then went out trick or treating. It was always cold, but that crisp, cool air just added to the excitement of running around the neighborhood getting candy. The best part was when we came home, and my sister and I would bargain with my brother - we're both allergic to nuts, so we traded our nut-filled goodies for something we could eat.

Clare is obviously too young to care about Halloween. However, that didn't stop me from buying her a costume at our local consignment shop. We took her trick or treating at my parents' house. She (we) got four candy bars. In my effort to document every second of Clare's life, we actually took a video of her trick or treating, so I don't have any pictures. However, we took many pictures of her in her adorable cow costume:

Clare the cow with all of her animal friends.

Ready to go with her pumpkin candy bag.

Daddy always makes her laugh.

She was so cuddly in this costume.

They made crafts at daycare! I was so excited to have Clare's first art project, even if she didn't do any of it herself. (The ghost is her footprint, in case it is not obvious in the photo.)

Random October Pictures

Elephant good.

Clare before heading out to the Dane County Farmer's Market. Please ignore the messy, unmade bed in the background.

Ben and Clare at the Dane County Farmer's Market in downtown Madison.

Clare and Grandma Jo during Clare's first Holiday Decoration Dinner Tour. (We get together to look at each other's Halloween decorations. What. It is not weird. We do it for Christmas, too. Oh, and did I mention there is lots of wine and food involved?) 

Something is amiss. Can you get that camera out of my face?

Foot good.

If you watch Parks and Recreation, you'll know why these cupcakes that Rob and Andri sent me for my birthday are hilarious.