Dada

For the first hour or so of Clare's life, she and Ben snuggled in a hospital chair. Clare slept. I think Ben dozed a bit himself.

 It seems to have created a special bond - a common activity they both enjoy.

 Sometimes the cat joins in.

 I mean, really. Who needs a bed when you've got Daddy?

All the napping aside, Clare adores her Daddy. Sometimes, during the day, she'll look over at the front door. "Dada?" She asks. I explain to her that he is at work. She goes back to playing. As soon as he gets home, though, she lights up like a million bazillion Christmas trees.

I know if she could, she would say thanks for being the best dad a girl could ask for. Since she can't, I'll say it for her: Ben, you rock. Happy Father's Day!

Home Alone

This winter has  been quiet, weather-wise. (I am not complaining, although I do find it some what worrisome.) We finally got some snow overnight, so I thought it would be a good time to introduce Clare to the fluffy white stuff.  Also: I wanted her to wear her adorable snowsuit at least once.

Edited to add: The hat Clare is wearing in this picture came from Japan - and Ben wore it when he was a little boy.

Ben has been at a conference in Las Vegas this week. I was apprehensive about being on my own with Clare. Ben and I split pick up/drop off duties at daycare, and he usually does all the dishes. Also, Ben always gives Clare her bath! Can you believe I have never bathed my daughter? I figured by the end of the week I would be buried in chores and extremely exhausted. I have to say, though, this week went a lot more smoothly than I expected. Except for the cat waking me up EVERY MORNING AND THEN PUKING AND POOPING ALL OVER THE HOUSE. Have I mentioned that I HATE THIS CAT? This morning it was 3 A.M. UGH.

Ahem.

On Monday, I had a stomachache. It was pretty bad, and I concocted an entire story where I woke in the middle of the night with a raging cash of appendicitis (thanks Web M.D.!) and had to call an ambulance, and where would Clare sit in the ambulance? And were would she go while I was in surgery? Would Ben fly back from Las Vegas? And what if I couldn't get to the phone to call an ambulance? What if I passed out? What would happen to Clare?

None of this happened.  We are fine.

On Tuesday, we web chatted with Ben. It took Clare about 10 minutes to figure out that it was her Daddy in the computer. As soon as she realized it, she lunged for the monitor, trying to get to him. It was pretty cute.

Also: I gave Clare TWO baths this week.  During the first one, I managed to pour water right into her mouth. She only coughed for a few minutes. Mommy of the Year over here!

Ben comes back today. I will be glad to see him. I need someone here to keep me out of my head. And to keep Clare clean.

Mom and Dad's Night Out

Ben and I had our first night away from Clare last weekend. We left her with her grandparents so we could go to a friend's wedding. As I drove away from my parents' house, I felt a little sad. This is the longest I've been away from her since she's been born! Then I felt relieved. And excited, because I was going to have ONE WHOLE GLASS of wine. And oh, did that wine taste good.

It was hot, but the wedding was beautiful. I had fun talking to actual adults about subjects other than diapers and sleep patterns and breastfeeding. And I didn't call my parents once! (I did check my phone several times to make sure they hadn't called me. They hadn't.) When we got back, my mom looked exhausted. Clare had been a bit fussy for them, but she typically is at night.

It really was nice to have a break. Now, of course, I am right back to worrying about whether or not Clare is eating enough. Next weekend, though, I am going to be gone OVERNIGHT for my sister's bachelorette party. That should be interesting...

Really, Mom? Look how pudgy I am! I think I am eating enough.

One Month

How did one month go by already? I feel like Clare was just born. I suppose it is partly due to the trance-like state I have been in due to lack of sleep for the last month. Things are kind of blurry.

Clare had her one month well-baby check today. She is 10 pounds and 23 inches long. She is in the 95th percentile for height and 74th percentile for weight. Long and lean.

We haven't given Clare a pacifier yet, but the doctor suggested we do so now if we want to. She definitely likes to suck, so we might try that tonight. Oh! Also! Clare slept for 6.5 hours last night.  After about four hours, I was up and staring at her in her bed making sure she was still breathing. She was, obviously. Of course, I will worry that she is not eating enough (even though she weights plenty), and will not take advantage of the fact that she is a good sleeper. I will still be up every few hours. Sigh.

At one month, Clare is definitely becoming more alert. Her face is also incredibly expressive. She has a worried look that very much resembles her mother's. Poor girl. She is smiling, but I am still not sure it isn't just gas. We can tell when she is happy, though. It is mostly when she is getting kisses or knows she is about to eat. Then she gets really excited. She sure likes her milk.

To celebrate her one month birthday, Clare and her Daddy had a most excellent nap. It was a good day.

Father's Day

Ben got to celebrate his first Father's Day this year! He got a card from Clare. Wasn't that thoughtful of her? We spent the day hanging out as a family, giving Clare a bath, and eating pancakes. Which Ben made, even though it was Father's Day. Oops. We had dinner with my parents, so Grandpa Ralph could have his Clare fix.

Ben has been so great through this whole experience. He is so attached to Clare. And he has been incredibly helpful to me. I couldn't do it without him!

5th Anniversary

It has been 5 years since I married my husband. We met 10 years ago. We were just kids - 21 years old. Like any couple, we've had our ups and downs, but overall things have been really good. I hope that continues once the Peanut is born. I think the secret to a good relationship is actually pretty obvious - communicate! We are both good at that. And, as cliche as it sounds, Ben is truly my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him! He always knows the right looks to give me to make me realize when I am worrying about something silly. Also, he can always make me laugh even when I am trying so. hard. to stay mad.

Here is an example of one of our conversations:

The time: 2 a.m.
The place: bed. I am awake because I am 36 weeks pregnant and do not sleep through the night.
The Question: Are we going to be good parents? I am worried that we aren't. (Because this is the kind of thing I think about at 2 a.m.
The response: "Well, plenty of people stupider than us have managed to raise children. I think we'll be fine. Good night."

Okay then.

Happy anniversary!

The "This is Really Happening" Moment

Last night, I was sitting on the couch watching tv. Ben sat in a nearby chair, flipping through the Baby Bargains book we got from the library. And all of a sudden it hit me. In 3 months, we are going to have an actual, live baby in our house. I mean, I've realized that the whole time, but somehow it just really hit me. Wow. I know I probably sound crazy, but the first two trimester have felt kind of surreal. It felt like the baby was just some vague object and since we had MONTHS until we actually had to deal with it, I didn't think about it except in a sort of abstract way. And now...we have 3 months. With quickly filling Saturdays. I might be starting to panic a little bit. Then, this morning at work, my co-worker asked me if I was ready for the baby to get here. Um, ready? Yeah, try no. They say all you need when the baby is born is a car seat, clothes for it to wear home from the hospital, and a place for it to sleep. We don't have any of those things. We have nothing, except a few random bibs and a Packers sweatshirt that is big enough for a one-year-old. So no. I am not ready. Not ready at all.