Matters of the Heart and Other Random Things

Clare had her 1-year check-up yesterday. During the visit, the doctor asked me, “Have I ever said anything to you about Clare having a heart murmur?” Um, no. She heard a slight murmur, and wants Clare to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is normal. She made it VERY CLEAR that this is very common, and in all likelihood she is FINE and that I am NOT to worry about it. So of course I have been worrying about it ever since. I don’t want to hear that my baby has a heart murmur! I want to hear that she is perfect in every way. She doesn’t go in for the Echo until July 11, so I am trying hard not to obssess about it. I did stand over her crib for several minutes listening to her breathe last night, though. I am not crazy or anything!

The good news is the rest of the check up went well, aside from those nasty shots, which she held against Ben for awhile because he was down by her legs when they were given to her. She was NOT happy with him. She has not grown much since her last appointment – she is a mere 20 pounds and 30 inches long – which is 33rd percentile for weight and 67th percentile for length. She has a big head, though. 91st percentile there. No baseball caps for her! (I have a large head myself, and look ridiculous in ball caps.) ANYWAY. The doctor said she is growing just fine.

Last weekend we went to Duluth for Grandma’s Marathon. (My heart goes out to that town now, dealing with that awful flooding - especially to my sister and brother-in-law, whose car may or may not be underwater right now.) Ben ran the FULL MARATHON, because he is a crazy person. Clare found it to be a great location for napping.

Race? What race?

My sister ran the half – they both did a great job. It is so interesting to watch those races – some people look like they are just out for a jog, while others look like they are about to collapse in a heap of sweat and tears. One of my goals in life is to never run a marathon – so hey, I’ve accomplished it. I do admire those that can do it, though.

Note Ben's grimace. Katie looks fine.

On Sunday we went to watch the Brewers play the Twins at Target Field in Minneapolis. It rained. The whole time I was wondering why they didn’t put a roof on that stadium. Target Field is quite nice, though, on a sunny day.

Clare has her own homemade poncho. Appropriate, yes?

Even though Ben had to stand under the upperdeck with Clare for most of the game (she took a nap, of course), it was still a lovely Father’s Day weekend. And Clare even reached another important milestone: eating her first deep fried cheese curds. She loved them, of course. But who wouldn’t?

I do not know what is happening here.

It's My Baby's Party and I'll Faint if I Want To

So I didn't faint at the party, but doing so several hours beforehand was enough to cast a shadow over the day. I was in the bathroom and suddenly felt extremely hot and nauseous. The next thing I knew, I was laying in my shower, battered and bloodied. Even three days later, my nose is bruised, my lip swollen and sore, my neck aching. I didn't go to urgent care on Saturday, despite a deep laceration on the inside of my lip, because I would have missed Clare's party. By Sunday, it was too late for stitches, so I am just waiting for it to (painfully) heal.  Injuries aside, I am fine. The doctor thinks my blood pressure dropped suddenly, and this is not the first time I've fainted. The result was that I was slightly out of it at Clare's party. However, Clare had a blast, and all of the friends and family that came to see her were thoroughly entertained by her antics. And that's what matters, right?

We had a cookout at my parents' house, complete with presents and cake. What more could a birthday girl ask for?

The decorations:

I made a poster with all of Clare's monthly photos from this blog.

I went for a butterfly theme. I even made party favors - clothespins with butterfly stickers, holding pictures of Clare.

The presents:

Clare got lots of great presents: toys, puzzles, books, a Big Bird doll, a family photo album complete with pictures - and this doll, knitted by my friends Christina and Amanda. Clare loved it. She is also getting an armchair with her name on it from her grandparents - it is purple with white polka dots. I can't wait to see it.

Here are her gifts from Mom and Dad. I knitted the koala. (Yes, that is supposed to be a koala bear.)

The cake:

No, I didn't make this. It was delicious, though: chocolate and vanilla with a chocolate mousse filling. Clare's "smash cake" was just vanilla.

Singing to the birthday girl. She wanted to grab the flame desperately.

What. Is. This?

Oh. It is good. Soooo goooood.

Do you want some, Mom?

Clare loved the cake. I had to take it away from her so she wouldn't eat the whole thing and get a stomachache. After cake, she spent the next several hours crawling around to each guest, shrieking with joy. At one point I came into the room, and she practically spun around in her glee at seeing me. Then she crawled towards me, shrieking. That made me feel pretty good.

I had planned to get pictures of Clare with all of her party guests, who included all four grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts, an honorary aunt, and some of Mommy's good friends (who live here in town), but that didn't happen. I did, however, get shots of her with two VIPs:

Great-Grandpa Bob and the birthday girl.

Clare with her namesake, Great-Grandma Clara.

I don't know why, but the first birthday just seems like such a big deal! I don't know if we'll do a big party again next year, but I am glad we did this year. It was a special day for all of us!

The after party:

12 Months (!!!)

Clare is 1! I can hardly believe it. I don’t think she believed me when I showed her a photo of herself as a newborn and told her it was her. It is amazing how different she looks now.

I remember last year's June 7th so clearly. Going into labor, pushing for 3 and a half hours, finally holding Clare in my arms. Then just staring at her for hours, pretty much scared out of my mind. I was so worried that I would hurt her somehow. She seemed so fragile. Those days are certainly gone. Now Clare crawls, cruises, dances, stands for seconds at a time on her own, climbs, and falls on a regular basis. She’s taken one or two steps on her own, and will walk with her push toy or with Mom and Dad’s assistance, so I know she’ll be walking on her own any day.

I am anxiously waiting for her to start talking. She has a few words: this, hat, all done - although I am probably the only one who knows she is saying all done. She shakes her head no. She says ya for yes, like a good Danish girl. I know she understands much of what we say and is taking it all in. She is also busy figuring out how everything works. She loves putting lids on and taking them off and trying to fasten buckles or snaps. She figured out how to get the top off her sippy cup at daycare, and spilled water all over herself. Maybe she will be an engineer like her Daddy.

We’ve started the weaning process. It is going...okay. The first day she was willing to drink a bottle of cow's milk from me, but then last night she had a fit and threw it across the room when I tried to give it to her.  So we'll see how it goes.  Finding something she is willing to eat has been challenging lately, especially because she does not want her food cut into pieces. We went out to eat last week, and when I bent down to pick her folk up off the floor she reached over and grabbed her entire pancake off my plate. She was pretty pleased with herself after that.

We are going to spend a lot of time at the park this summer – Clare loves being outside, although she is still not sure she likes the grass. She’ll crawl on the driveway, though, despite scraping her knees.

Clare is shy at first when she meets strangers, but seems to have basically gotten over any separation anxiety. She loves having family and friends around. If she has an audience, she is happy. I hope she has a great time at her birthday party on Saturday and isn't too overwhelmed by the crowd.

A year and a day ago, I didn’t really understand how people felt when they talked about how strong your love is for a child. Now I know. I am overwhelmed by my feelings some days.

Clare, I love you more than anything in the world. I would do anything for you. I am glad you are such a happy little girl, and I hope your second year is as good as your first one. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

11 Months

It is becoming more and more challenging to get these shots each month. It is definitely a two person job.

Clare has figured out what the remote control is for. She points it at the TV, waiting for something to happen. We are kind of embarrassed that she knows this, but on the other hand, at least she is observant, right?

She has two favorite Sesame Street videos that we watch on You Tube over and over. And over.  Feist singing "1,2,3,4" and Will.i.am singing "What I Am." (The Sesame Street versions, of course.) She loves Elmo and the other monsters. She also dances: turning her shoulders and bouncing up and down. She'll dance to pretty much any music, even my singing. If you have ever heard me sing, you know this is saying something.  Of course, I think the only person who has ever heard me sing is my friend Chelsea. We used to sing along to the "Lite" radio station in her car in college.

Anyway, Clare is getting pretty adventurous with food. She basically just wants whatever I am eating, whether it is refried beans or an avocado and cheese sandwich. She loves restaurants, thanks to the people watching she can do there, and even had her first French fries at the Night Owl here in town. Needless to say, those were a big hit. Oh, and mushrooms. She adores them. We also ordered her something off a children's menu for the first time: scrambled eggs and French toast. I made her eat the eggs first, because I knew once she got a bite of that French toast the eggs would be rejected. I was right.

Thanks to the early spring, we've been playing outside quite a bit. Clare rolled off her blanket onto the grass for the first time last week. She immediately lifted both feet and hands into the air. She was not at all sure she wanted to touch the grass. After sitting like that for a few minutes, she got bored and went on playing, perfectly comfortable on the lawn.

She is curious about everything, pointing and saying "this" or "that." She is babbling constantly, and I can't wait for more words to start coming out of her mouth.

She is very close to walking, and can take several steps with assistance from her walking toy. She can stand on her own for a few seconds, so I know this milestone is right around the corner.

She also loves technology:

Clare blogging.

Watching her favorite Sesame Street video.

Whew. I think that is it. 11 months! I said it last month, and I'll say it again: this is such a fun age.

This?

While we were at my parents’ house on Sunday, Clare was looking at some small, framed photos of  my siblings and me that my mom has on display. She pointed at the picture of me, and said “This?” Clear as day. Then she pointed at Aunt Katie, “This?” and Uncle Robby, “This?” What a weird first word. (Besides Dada, which she says all the time.) I thought I heard her say it before, but I was never quite sure. But last night my mom heard it too. Every time she encounters something new: “This?”

When we were back home, she was trying to get some coasters off the coffee table. They were just out of her reach, but being the determined girl that she is, she kept trying to get them. She was getting pretty frustrated, and ignored my suggestion to move to the other side of the table where she would be able to reach them. Then, she took one of our remote controls and used it to pull the coaster to her. I swear to God. She must be taking after her engineer-minded father, because I never would have thought to do that.

Last week she was chewing on her sock after taking it off her foot (as you do). I said, “Clare, where does your sock go?” And she set it on her foot. Okay, maybe it was just a fluke, so I tried it again. And she set it on her foot again! Harvard, here we come.

Oh, and food update: Clare is not allergic to eggs. Huzzah! In celebration, I stocked up on ravioli (the perfect finger food!) and on Sunday we whipped up a bunch of these pancakes. I had my doubts, but they were delicious. We added blueberries, and Clare just chowed down. I think she is growing, too, because on Saturday she ate a plate of scrambled egg whites, a cup of yogurt with oatmeal, some banana and blueberry puree, a handful of cheerios, and a rice cracker – all in one sitting. Sometimes it is all I can do to get her to eat anything, although she did enjoy the 4-year aged cheddar that she had on Sunday. She is such a cheese snob. I think Gouda is next on the list. After all, it is an important cheese in her mother’s life.

Also: I am just joking about the Harvard thing. We’ll never be able to afford the tuition. And, if state schools were good enough for her parents and all that…

Random video time: Clare in her high chair, deciding whether or not she wants to eat. Happy Tuesday.

10 Months

I feel like I just wrote the 9 month post, and here I am again! 10 months! (And a few days. I didn’t have a chance to do this over the weekend.) I know I say this every month, but I can’t get over how fast Clare is growing. This morning I was in the kitchen, and I glanced out in the living room and saw Clare standing at the end table, playing with her books. I thought, “who is that little girl and what happened to my baby?” I know they change fast at this age, but sometimes I feel like I am getting whiplash.

We had Easter at my parents’ house this weekend, and I am happy to report Clare no longer cries when she sees my dad. In fact, she had a lot of fun with him this weekend. She was a little frightened of Uncle Robby at first, but that’s true for everyone. (Just kidding, Robby. I know. I am hilarious.) Clare was busy showing off all of her new tricks: clapping her hands, blowing raspberries, putting her wrist in her mouth and moving it back and forth while singing.

She also waves hello and goodbye, says Dada when she sees Ben, makes the sign for milk when she is hungry, gives high-fives, and smiles for the camera. When we were at dinner on Sunday, she played the peekaboo game by herself by holding a napkin over her face, waiting for us all to scream, “Where’s Clare?” and then pulling the napkin away, smiling with glee. (She learned the game a few minutes before from her grandma, and was happy to continue it for several minutes. It was just so cute watching her cover her face with the napkin, especially since she sometimes forgot to cover her eyes. I think she liked looking at all of her adoring fans.)

She is very interested in anything Mommy and Daddy are drinking (water, beer, whatever), but refuses to drink out of a sippy cup herself. She is a pro with finger food – but is also a pro at letting us know when she doesn’t want any more by throwing it on the floor. She tried blueberries for the first time last week, and loves them. She also loves Cheerios, and her eyes light up when I pick up the box. Oh, and cheese. If I put vegetables and cheese on her tray, she ignores the vegetables but gobbles up all of the cheese. A true Wisconsin girl. I think we are going to try eggs this week. I am crossing my fingers that she is not allergic, because then I can start giving her pancakes and ravioli and other yummy things made with eggs. Also, having an egg allergy would suck. Then we wait until she is 18 months old to try the foods I am allergic to (peanuts, tree nuts, fish).

Clare had a lovely first Easter, although she wasn't too sure what to think of her Easter basket.

Grandma Mary Theresa gave her a book and the bunny. I filled the basket with all of my favorite Easter candy. Clare can’t have any, of course. Isn’t that convenient? As we say in our household now, “Nom Nom Nom.”

Nine Months

Nine months. She has now been on the outside as long as she was on the inside.  I was looking at some pictures from last summer, and I just can’t believe how different she looks now. I’ve always thought she was cute as a button, but she really is so much cuter now than she was when she was first born. I think her personality has a lot to do with that. Clare has the cutest little laugh – have I mentioned it before? She doesn’t laugh that often, she usually just shrieks with joy, but when I can get that giggle it makes my whole day. The other thing that makes my whole day: Clare’s absolute excitement at seeing me when I come to get her in the mornings. I may have mentioned this before, too, but oh, it is so precious. She acts like we’ve been apart for months rather than hours.

Oh, and this happened:

She only manages to pull herself all the way onto her feet once in a while, but she is working hard at it. She has taken more than a few tumbles, but doesn’t seem to be any worse for wear. When I go into her room in the morning, I see her little hands on the top of the crib, her head tilted back as she tries to see over the top bar. We’ve already lowered her mattress once, and I think we will need to do it again soon.

She has been crawling like crazy – she still does the army crawl, but also pulls herself onto her hands and knees regularly. If Ben and I are in another part of the room, she charges for us. She will not be left out, Little Miss Social. She is babbling constantly – she says Dada, but I don’t think she’s made the connection to Ben. Other than that, I haven’t picked out any definite words yet. 

She loves playing with her blocks – I build a tower and she knocks it over. If I am holding a toy, she wants it, even if she has 3 in her hands. I guess the grass is greener even when you are a baby. She also loves books – and has actually started showing interest in the pictures on the page rather than just using them to chew on. (I had to stop letting her do that so much, I am afraid she has ingested more than just a little bit of “Moo, Baa, La La La.”)  She adores animals, and I can’t wait for her first trip to the zoo. She is going to absolutely flip. She also loves it when Mommy or Daddy is playing on the floor with her - Mommy is her favorite jungle gym.

She is growing and changing so fast – I feel like I can’t keep up. I just read Anne Lamott’s book, “Operating Instructions,” and it made me wish I had written more about Clare. I want to record every minute! I know this is not realistic, but still. It feels so fleeting. I just want to bottle her up so I can revisit this age when she has turned into an acne-covered, parent-hating teenager.

She is doing pretty well with solid foods. She had her first avocado last week, and is having her first chicken today. We started practicing with finger foods (mostly just some organic puffs I found at the co-op). She had some trouble at first, but seems to be getting the hang of it. With her 9 teeth, she looks like she could eat a steak. She also shared a banana with me the other day. We were in the living room – she wouldn’t eat it with her fingers, but she helpfully opened her mouth. Insert food, please!

I went away for a much needed girls’ night last weekend (Wine! Shopping! Gossip! Knitting! Yes, you read that right. I knit now. Sort of.) I had a blast, but I missed the heck out of Clare. When I got home on Sunday, she could have cared less. Of course, she had her Daddy. And, when it came time to eat, she was happy I was there. I guess Mommy is good for something after all.

I actually made that hat!

Sitting Up

A few weeks ago, I was worrying (shocking, I know) that Clare wasn't sitting up yet. Even though the books I'd read said she was in the normal range for the milestones she was supposed to have reached, I started obsessing over it.

I emailed my friend and professional sounding board, A. She told me her son wasn't sitting yet at Clare's age, and at the time, she was worried, too. Since her son is a wonderful and smart little boy, I felt a lot better.

Then, I read Amalah's post on Thursday. Her son is just a few days older than Clare. She was concerned about the fact that her son wasn't sitting up, and even asked an occupational therapist about it. The specialist was concerned. Of course, this sent me into a full-fledged panic. Even though I know! You are not supposed to compare babies! All babies develop at different speeds! First borns are sometimes slower to do things than second and third children. I get it. I still panicked.

I decided to sit Clare on her little bottom to see what would happen. Just to try it out.

She sat there on her own staring back at me like, "Yeah, what? I can do this. I just choose not to, camera/milk lady."

So ONCE AGAIN I was worrying about nothing. And now I can record another milestone in her baby book. January 13, 2012. Clare sat up by herself for the first time. After being coerced.

 (She still can't pull herself into a sitting position from the ground, but I figure that will come soon enough. If is she just reclined in her car seat or on my lap, she can sit up.)

Teeth!

She has one coming in. Maybe two. We had her 4-month check-up on Wednesday, and the doctor was surprised to hear Clare is teething. According to the doctor, most babies don't get teeth until they are at least 6 months old. But hey, she is the size of a 6 month old, so she might as well act like one too. (Stats: 14.4 pounds, 26 inches long - that's the 97th percentile for height and 62nd percentile for weight.)

She has been a bit cranky, but not too bad, all things considered. (Knock on wood.) She is drooling A LOT, and gumming down on everything, including Mommy. Last night, we tried the frozen wet washcloth, and she loved chewing/sucking on that. What a cheap, easy solution! I have no idea how teething works, but I assume she'll get a little break once these teeth come in?

Ben dropped our camera on the ground and it is busted, so until I get a new one - crappy phone photos!

Hmmm...why is Mommy hovering over me and Sophie with her phone?

Open up, Clare! Show the world that tooth!

Ta da! (Now, lets learn to chew on something OTHER than Mommy. How about Sophie? That's what she's for, after all.)

Milestones

We knew she had done it, because we found her on her stomach when she woke up from her morning nap. And then, later, we had proof:

Hmmm...I think my mom wants me to do something.

I guess I will perform my new trick.

As a reward, I will eat my toes.

If you had told me a year ago that I would be this excited about a baby rolling over, I probably would have rolled my eyes. But oh, it is so exciting when it is your own baby doing these things! I can't wait for the next milestone.