First Day/Last Day/Birthday

The kids had their last day of Distance Learning on Tuesday. It was a weird end to the school year, to say the least. They haven't been in school since March 9th, which is hard to believe. Each day felt long, but here we are in June, somehow.

I now have a 4th grader and 1st grader, which is also hard to believe. I seem to be surprised every year when they finish another grade. This year is especially bittersweet, because they are both saying goodbye to beloved teachers. Clare had Mr. Horton for three years, and he was wonderful. I feel so lucky that she had such an amazing teacher. Christopher had Ms. Angela for two years, and we will miss her as well. Christopher loved pre-K and Kindergarten. We'll find out who their new teachers are in August. I know whoever they have for a teacher they will do well.

On the last day of school, Clare's teacher gave a nice presentation on each third grader. He talked about how Clare had changed since first grade, when she would finish all her work by 9 a.m. and not know what to do. He said Clare is ambitious, and learned how to challenge herself, and also be herself. He asked the kids in the class to describe her, and they said she is thoughtful, nice, helpful and "very cool". I may have cried while eavesdropping on this class meeting.

I asked Clare what her favorite thing was about third grade. Her answer: "My friends." We have missed those friends dearly over the last few months. She finally got to see Natalie in a socially-distanced setting, which was good for her. Her least favorite thing: "I don't know." I guess it is good that she couldn't come up with anything.

And Christopher? Well, he refused to answer my questions, but I know he loved building with blocks, eating lunch at school, and going outside for recess. He did not like it when the kids in his class misbehaved during group time.

We celebrated Clare's birthday last weekend with a pinata, pizza and a Dairy Queen Oreo blizzard cake. The best part, though, was getting to see family members in person. This was good for all of us. Of course, my mom and I spent a lot of time worrying that we were doing something wrong, but we were following the rules.

Clare was given a pogo stick, roller blades, and lots of Legos. We are lofting her bed this weekend, and she gets to pick out a new rug for her room. She was happy.

And now it is on to summer. I read my summary of last summer today, and it made me want to cry. We will not be able to do most of the things we did last year. I am going to try my best to make this one fun, though. We'll see how it goes.

Social distance Kindergarten graduation! Christopher was thrilled to see his teachers in person. He will miss them next year.

Nine!

Clare is nine. It has been such a strange, sad year, but I still want to celebrate my amazing girl.

Speaking of this year, Clare is handling the pandemic fairly well over all. She is turning out to be quite a realist. She told me well before it actually happened that she knew the State Fair would be canceled. (Although it still brought tears to her eyes when she got the news that her prediction was correct.) She has handled all of the cancellations with grace, although sometimes all of the feelings come out in other ways, including some fairly epic tantrums. She seems too old for this behavior, but as everyone keeps saying, these are "uncertain times". Distance learning has been tough and she misses her friends, but she willingly participates in the challenge work that her teacher assigns. She hates writing in her journal and we have fights about that daily. Clare also does her "daily whining", as Christopher puts it. (He does plenty of his own daily whining.)

Clare is doing her best to find things to look forward to, which I think is great. She came up with something exciting about each day for the two weeks leading up to her birthday. They were mostly small, but I am happy she was able to find something good about each day. I certainly haven't been able to do that recently. She is extremely excited that she gets to spend her birthday with some family members in person. We are taking precautions, but we are having a small get together with my sister and her family and my parents. Clare is thrilled.

One activity that Clare was looking forward to was the removal of her expander. It was supposed to come out in March, but the appointment kept getting rescheduled. I brought gummy worms for her to eat as soon as it was gone, at her request. I am sure it is a relief to finally have that hunk of metal out of her mouth. Now she is free from the orthodontist for a year. (And we are free from orthodontic bills, at least temporarily.)

Most of Clare's activities are on hold, of course. Pre-COVID she was participating in Girl Scouts, piano and soccer. She was hoping to start Irish Dance lessons, too. She will be back to playing social-distance soccer in a few weeks, and will participate in a virtual Girl Scout camp this summer. She loves swimming, and is hopeful that she might get to swim if we are able to visit my parents this summer.

One thing that is keeping Clare busy during the pandemic is Minecraft. She and Christopher are both obsessed. I like it because it gives me a few moments of peace, and I can justify this screen time because they are being creative and using their brains. As a bonus, they can play online with some friends, which provides much-needed social time for Clare. (Clare is also able to keep in touch with her friends via Messenger Kids. Technology is a Godsend.)

She is still best friends with Natalie. Her other close friends are Kaia, Ehna, Amelia, and Colin. She is still close with out-of-school friends Nora, Simon and James. (Simon, James and Benjamin are her Minecraft buddies.) She loves all of her cousins, and calls Josie her sister-cousin. She hopes to see Marios and meet Dinos this summer, and loves to hug Otto whenever she sees him.

Clare says she wants to be a lawyer or a judge when she grows up. I think this quote from Clare is a nice summary of why she might make a good lawyer:

"I'm really good at comebacks. Some people have to think deeply about them but I just say what comes out of my mouth and it usually works."

She also has a memory like a steel trap, and, as I have said before, will be sure to remember exactly the words you used and use those words to argue against anything you are trying to get her to do. I do wish I could get her to argue less, though, and just accept what I am telling her to do without question. This is incredibly difficult for her to do. I am not sure if this is good or bad.

Oh, and Clare is writing her first novel! (Funny, considering her aforementioned hatred of journal writing at school.) She is still finding the plot, but it keeps her busy.

Some current favorites: the color lime green, pickles and olives (she requests to have these for a snack daily), the Harry Potter books and movies (she is through book four), reading, the Inbestigators on Netflix, PBS kids games, especially anything Odd Squad-related, Ghost in the Graveyard, playing board games, especially Clue, making bracelets with those colorful rubber bands, Legos, hiking, camping, swimming, riding her bike, and of course MINECRAFT.

Some dislikes: storms (the tornado warning last week was quite traumatic), spinach, frosting that is "too sugary", sunscreen, insects, and helicopters. The helicopter is a new fear. See previous post.

Clare recently requested that we watch the Pride and Prejudice miniseries starring Colin Firth. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book, so I was thrilled to watch it with her. She loved it, and wants to watch it again. (I am not ashamed to say that I have seen this miniseries probably 50 times. I read the book every year.)

She is so like Ben in so many ways. Her brain works more like his than mine. We do share a love of planning, however. Clare is so interesting to talk to - we have long talks about all sorts of things.

Happy birthday, Clare! I hope you can make the most of being nine. I love you more than I can say.

Perspective

Day 79

The news here is grim. In the middle of a pandemic, it is easy to forget about all of the other issues in our country and our world. And there are so many. It is depressing, maddening, sickening that we are still faced with this stark racism in this day and age.

I never really thought much about my privilege in terms of race until a few years ago when I was given a quiz explaining white privilege in an ECFE class. Since then, I have tried to be aware. Honestly, though, it was easy not to think about these things because they seemingly don't directly affect me. I would feel horrified when I heard about yet another killing of a POC in the hands of the police, but after a few days I would stop thinking about it. That ends now.  I am buying books, reading articles, and donating to organizations. I am going to do my best to truly be anti-racist. I will work to elect officials who will actually work to combat this problem. And most importantly, I am going to parent so that my kids know that racism is never okay, and that they must use their privilege for good.  They really have no idea what other people face, even though they have friends who are not white.

Ben took the kids over to Lake Street on Saturday to help clean up. I am not sure what they thought about the situation. We have had many discussions about what happened to George Floyd, and will continue to do so. Clare woke up Saturday night terrified that someone was going to break into our house. Hearing National Guard helicopters flying over our house all night was unnerving. Seeing police barricade two bridges that I drive over weekly was heartbreaking.

I heard someone speak recently about the fallacy of saying we are all in this together. We are not, she said, really in the same boat. Some of us are in a yacht, while some of us are in a row boat with a hole in it. She was talking about the pandemic, but the same could be said for so many other issues. (And it is true, even though I have a "We're all in this together" sign in my yard.)

And while all of this happens, the pandemic rages on. Clare broke down in tears yesterday, wishing she could have all of the end of year parties and events that normally take place. I feel for her, and for everyone who is missing out on important life events. We must continue to take it day by day, and do our best. And do our best to understand our privilege and use it to make changes to our broken system.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”