Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Number 12 (and Mother's Day)

I went to see Maureen Campion speak at my ECFE site last week. She discussed marriage and how to make it work, especially with young children. It was really interesting, and I wish Ben had been there, too. (One thing she said that particularly resonated with me was that mothers tend to lose their inner voice, forget who they are, when they have young children. I think this is especially true for me as a SAHM. When people I ask me what I am going to do when the kids go back to school I usually give them a blank look and then say, "Something..." I honestly have no idea.)

Anyway, I felt pretty good about our marriage after hearing Maureen's talk. We have our issues, every couple does, but we were in a good place before we had kids. And that has helped a ton. It also helps that Ben doesn't like to sit still, so he is always busy doing tasks that need to be done around the house. And I can't say enough about how much I appreciate the fact that he does the dishes every night while I collapse on the couch.

Another thing the speaker said was that when asked, women with small children first want to spend time alone, and then with friends, and then with their spouse. (While the man usually wants to spend time with his spouse, even sacrificing sleep.) I have to say this is true for me. As an introvert, I need that alone time and I rarely get it. I also feel refreshed after a night out with friends. Again, points to Ben for never complaining when I tell him I am going out.

That said, I still do want to spend time with Ben, too. Good, right? We were able to go out for our anniversary on Saturday night. We were both a little tired (hungover) from a neighborhood party on Friday night, but that didn't stop us from enjoying whiskey at Young Joni's hidden bar. We also shared a bottle of wine and devoured delicious pizza at Young Joni after our cocktail. It was very nice.

On Mother's Day, I received my usual Mother's Day flowers and a fitbit. I am excited to see if the fitbit helps.  I have been doing a better job exercising, but maybe this will provide even more motivation. We spent the day doing usual Sunday things (Clare and I went to Target together), but we made time for bloody mary's on the deck. (I am realizing this post makes it sound like I am constantly drinking. I'm really not.) Christopher spent a lot of time on his new bike while Clare did cartwheels in the yard. We had Ben's parents over for dinner and Ben grilled chicken kabobs. It was a nice day.

Clare brought this questionnaire home from school. 

Mother's Day snack at Starbucks.


Cheers to 12 years!

Christopher's moment of zen.







2 comments:

  1. You were born in 1955, huh? You look really good for your age! ;)

    You and Ben DO have a great relationship! You perfectly balance one another.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Women with small children first want to spend time alone, and then with friends, and then with their spouse."

    YES. It's taken many years for my husband to fully understand this... but he's taken to liking his alone time too. I think it has something to do with feeling constantly NEEDED. That feeling does not go away when it's just the two of you. It does go away when alone or with girlfriends.

    I feel like that question to SAHMs is like all those stupid pregnancy questions (what are you having?) and newborn questions (is she a good sleeper?). MYOB, people.

    Happy belated Mother's Day!

    ReplyDelete