Jean

My sweet, funny, and wise grandmother, Jean, passed away on December 4. It has been hard. She was 91 years old, but it still feels too soon to lose her. Up until the end of her life, she was living in her own home, volunteering at St. Vincent De Paul and at her church, and driving her friends to lunch. She had a lot of friends.

She sent cards for every birthday and anniversary. Until the past few years, she sent boxes of cookies each Christmas. She unknowingly coined Ben's nickname for me while we were in college after sending me a package of cookies labeled "Emily No Nuts." I was always so excited to get a box from her. She even sent me a box of cookies when I was studying abroad in Spain. Her close family weren't the only recipients of her kindness - we learned at her funeral that she sent birthday cards to just about everyone she knew.

Some of the best parenting advice I have received from my mother originated with my grandma. ("Pick your battles" and "Never do for your child what she can do for herself" are two of my favorites.)

My grandma was born in Racine, Wisconsin. She married my grandpa in 1949. They were married for 63 years. (My grandpa passed away in 2013.) She lived in a number of cities in Wisconsin. My mom was raised in a suburb of Milwaukee. For the last 20 or more years she lived in a small town near Lake Michigan. She was a dedicated wife and mother. She raised five children. She faced hardships and challenges in her life, but always had a positive attitude.

Once, when we were children and spending the night at her house, she gave us each a pot and a spoon and announced that we were going to wake up my mom. And we did, gleefully banging our pots and pans.

She always had an amazing lunch spread when we visited for lunch, and never forgot the black olives or taco dip. I learned my ways of always having way too much food at parties from her. One thing I'll always remember is Grandma standing in the doorway, waving goodbye until we were out of sight.

My kids loved Meema Jean, too. I am so happy they got to know her. Clare will have memories of her, I hope.

She's given me many cookbooks over the years. I don't use them all, but I can't bear to get rid of them. I will probably keep them forever. I tried to follow her example this year and bake cookies in advance and then freeze them. I think next year I will start in November to honor her memory.

My grandma's cookies were delicious and she loved baking. Two of my most prized positions are handwritten notes from her. One contains her advice for various potential problems in the kitchen. The other is a recipe card for her Dipped Gingersnaps, my favorite Christmas cookie she baked. The best part of the recipe card are her notes, including one telling me how special I am. She was pretty special, too. I will miss her joyful laugh, funny comments, and unconditional love of her grandchildren.

Jean Bernhardt
 November 26, 1927 - December 4, 2018