Monday, January 28, 2013

The Wait

Ben had a job interview in St. Paul last week. When he told me about the interview, my stomach immediately tied itself into knots.  I have been anxious about it ever since. I mean, I want him to get the job. Of course I do. He needs to change what he is doing. I want him to be happy. But that means change. Big change. We'd be moving away from my parents. I'd have to quit my job. I'd be leaving my friends here. Clare would have to change daycares and change doctors.

I told my parents about the interview last weekend. I was so nervous to tell them that I was up at 4 a.m. worrying about it. They were great about it, of course. And I know we'd still see my parents frequently. And we'd be moving to the Twin Cities, where we have my sister, Ben's family, and lots of really great friends (who I miss terribly). What could be bad about that? Oh, and I suppose they have doctors and daycare there, too.

Really, I think the problem is it is just easier to stay the same. Don't rock the boat, etc. But is that what is best for me? For Ben? For our little family? No, not in the long run.

And no matter what happens with Ben's job, we need to move. We are bursting at the seems in this little townhouse. We are hoping to expand our family, and simply do not have room for another baby in this place.

So yes, it would be nice to know if that move is for Ben's new job, or just for more space. Hopefully the answer to at least one of our question will come this week. (Edited to add: it didn't. These things always seem to take longer than they should, don't they?)


  1. First, congrats to Ben! As someone who completely understands what it's like to have a husband who is unhappy in his job, I think this is all GREAT news. A happier husband and dad = happier wife and happier home. I can't tell you the change in dynamic in our household just by Jon liking where he has to go each day. I hope the same happens for Ben and the rest of you.

    And while the change was scary - school, training, finding a job - and meant that I had to pick up some slack or put my worries about change in the back of my mind, it was ALL worth it. :)

    So glad we might see you more often!

  2. I would be the exact same way considering the pros and cons of a major decision like that ... not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, not wanting to have to start over in a new place, not wanting the CHANGE. But change is good (right?!) and Ben will be more challenged/satisfied in his new job, and YOU will love your new full-time job (more time with Clare! More time with your friends who are also SAHMs!), and even though your parents will be in Wisconsin, I bet you'll find a way to spend plenty of quality time together. For purely selfish reasons, I'm so excited to have you back in the 612 (or 651? 763? 952?) area code. More Lillie get-togethers & playdates! Yeah!!!