Ben had a job interview in St. Paul last week. When he told me about the interview, my stomach immediately tied itself into knots. I have been anxious about it ever since. I mean, I want him to get the job. Of course I do. He needs to change what he is doing. I want him to be happy. But that means change. Big change. We'd be moving away from my parents. I'd have to quit my job. I'd be leaving my friends here. Clare would have to change daycares and change doctors.
I told my parents about the interview last weekend. I was so nervous to tell them that I was up at 4 a.m. worrying about it. They were great about it, of course. And I know we'd still see my parents frequently. And we'd be moving to the Twin Cities, where we have my sister, Ben's family, and lots of really great friends (who I miss terribly). What could be bad about that? Oh, and I suppose they have doctors and daycare there, too.
Really, I think the problem is it is just easier to stay the same. Don't rock the boat, etc. But is that what is best for me? For Ben? For our little family? No, not in the long run.
And no matter what happens with Ben's job, we need to move. We are bursting at the seems in this little townhouse. We are hoping to expand our family, and simply do not have room for another baby in this place.
So yes, it would be nice to know if that move is for Ben's new job, or just for more space. Hopefully the answer to at least one of our question will come this week. (Edited to add: it didn't. These things always seem to take longer than they should, don't they?)