18 Months

I don't know why I even bother with these pictures anymore. Note the fist full of bribe.

 The other night I had a dream that it was summer. I couldn’t figure out where winter had gone. Did we celebrate Christmas? What happened? Then I woke up and realized it was December and I was still suffering through my second head cold in as many weeks. It is hard to get in the Christmas spirit when you feel like your head is about to explode. I am trying to be positive, though. I know it will run its course eventually.

To continue the (seemingly) eternal saga that is Clare’s ear problems: she is getting tubes put in on Monday. It is a very common, simple procedure that takes three minutes, according to the doctor. Still though, she is going to be placed under general anesthesia,  and they are going to prick holes into her tiny little eardrums. SOB. It will help her in the long run, though. It HAS to. There is nothing else we can do for her at this point.  Do you think they’ll let her take Big Bird with her into the operating room? Ever since last Sunday, she has carried the Big Bird doll she got for her birthday from her Uncle Robby and Aunt Andri around with her EVERYWHERE. She could have cared less about the thing up until Sunday, but now she must have him AT ALL TIMES. We don’t let her take him to daycare, though. I feel kind of guilty about that, but Ben insists that we need to set boundaries and that she doesn’t really care, she is just mad that she is not getting her way. This might be true, I guess, but he isn’t the one who has to deal with the quivering lower lip when she is told that Big Bird has to wait in the car.

Anyway, Clare is 18 months old today! A year and a half. She is quite the little spitfire. She has attitude right down to her toes. I love all of her opinions, though. And she has an opinion about everything, even when it is clear she has no clue what I am talking about.  Sometimes, she’ll quickly revise her answer after she thinks about it for a minute or two. She is more honest about whether or not she has something in her diaper. She used to deny it constantly, even when my nose told a different story. She has added a few more words to last month’s list, including Tea, Pie, Milk, and Mine. Mine is a particular favorite of hers.  She also says "up" a lot, but usually she means "down."

With all of her illness lately, she has been extra clingy. She wants Mama all the time. My arm is getting tired from carrying her everywhere – I wish she were still small enough to hold in a sling! She definitely thrives on her morning and evening routines – so much so that if Ben takes my place for any part of it she gets upset. The other day, he was reading her a story before bed, but when she saw me she ripped the book from his hands and gave it to me instead. She does okay if she doesn’t see me at night, but in the morning she does not like it if Ben gets her out of the crib. Once she realizes her options are to let him get her out or to stay in there, though, she’ll let him do it.

I bought an Advent calendar –  one of the kind with little doors for each day of the month. There is a line from the poem “Twas The Night Before Christmas” and a piece of chocolate behind each door. Each night, I get down the calendar, Clare sits in my lap, and I read the lines of the poem that have been revealed so far. Then, we open the door for that day and Clare gets her piece of chocolate. At least, that’s how it happened on the first day, when there was only one line of poetry to read before she got her chocolate. Now, she impatiently digs her finger into each empty space behind previously opened doors, getting more and more impatient and frustrated (as if she’s been waiting hours rather than seconds), until FINALLY, she gets her chocolate. She takes it, leaps out of my lap, and runs to her Clare chair where she devours it.  Sigh. Well, maybe in a few years she’ll appreciate the story that goes along with it. Until then, I’ll just enjoy whatever amount of time she is willing to give me, even if it means my arm feels like it is about to fall off.