Thursday, August 11, 2011

Three Weeks from Today

I got a call from Clare's daycare yesterday, confirming her first day. I have had this day in the back of my mind for the past few weeks, and the thought of dropping her off there and driving away makes me sick to my stomach.

So I decided to look in one of the baby books I have to see if they have any information on what to send to daycare with your infant. THIS DID NOT HELP AT ALL. Here is a quote from the book, which by the way is "The Baby Book" by the Drs. Sears. "Day-care centers are not advisable for infants under one year because of too many kids, too few staff members, and the increased chances of contagious illness at a child's most infection-vulnerable time." Needless to say, Clare is going to a daycare center. What is their preferable solution? Having the baby cared for in-home, by a family member or au pair. And yes, this would be great. However, it is not something that will work for us. The authors also go on at length about how it is best for the baby to be with its mother, and helpfully points out how you will likely miss milestones because they can happen at daycare. This is all probably true. So yeah, it is guilt city over here.

The thing is, I don't have to go back to work. Financially, we could make do without my income. But truthfully, I want to go back.  Aside from the whole daycare situation, I like the idea of having a few days a week that are baby free, and I can interact with adults and do things other than change diapers. Does that make me a terrible mother? I don't really think so. The daycare center where we are taking Clare is clean, organized, and I felt really good about it when we visited last spring. The kids all seemed happy. I think she will be just fine. I think I need to stop reading some of these books, other than as a quick reference to answer questions like, "why in the world is that poop green?"And I should say, this book has been quite helpful when it comes to answering those types of questions. We have used it a lot over the last nine weeks.

I wish I could be in two places at once. Wouldn't it be great if we could clone ourselves we could be home with baby and work?

Now, on a happier note, here is Clare rocking her awesome arm warmers from her Aunt Andri. She is going to be the most stylish girl at daycare.


  1. Arm warmers?! OMG. So cute.

    And that hurtful (ridiculous) comment by Dr. Sears? Strictly an OPINION. Centers are licensed and regulated and there is always backup care if a teacher has to take time off & Clare will have little friends to watch at first and play with later -- constant stimulation (in a good way). :)

    Don't feel guilty about your decision to return to work. If it will make you happy to return to the Land of Adult Conversations (and deadlines! and not worrying about green poop!) a few days a week, it will make you a better mom.

  2. This is the part I think I will struggle with when my day comes...But Em, you will be a good mom no matter what you decide. If after a few weeks, work won't work for you anymore and you feel you have to be home, at least you have the flexibility of being able to get by on one income. Think of it as options. Trust your gut. xoxo

  3. I was going to say what CMS said: If going to work makes you feel happy and sane, that makes you a better mom to Clare. And when she's older, she will see you are a better mom for it. And a great role model!

    And that nonsense about missing milestones? Complete BS. Especially if you're only going back part time. But, Jon and I work full time and we've never missed a milestone. First words, first steps, first smiles, first laughs - they all came at home.

    And the interaction and the stimulation from the others kids? Seriously, it's priceless. I could never give Mason the kind of play and friends he has at daycare - unless we popped out like 5 more kids and that's not happening! ;)