In Limbo

It has been a strange few weeks. We moved, but I don't really feel like I live here yet. I miss going to work three days a week, miss having a routine, miss my old life in many ways. Clare is adjusting, too. And teething. This is a bad combination. It makes her clingy. It makes her crabby. This makes me crabby.

I know this is all temporary. I will adjust to my new life, and once we move into our house I will have my own home. My routine. I hope.

And yes, we found a house. House hunting was stressful. Making an offer on the house was stressful. Thinking about moving is stressful. Moving into a neighborhood where we know no one is stressful.

The combination of all of this missing and stressing has left me feeling very out of sorts.

On the bright side, I've just finished a weekend filled with fun social engagements. A get-together at my friend Cindi's. A birthday party for Clare's 3-year-old second cousin. Dinner out with the girls. Brunch with my sister and brother-in-law, followed by a trip to the Como Park Conservatory. Dinner out with my mother-in-law and some of her friends.

So really, why I am complaining? Who cares if I don't meet anyone in my new neighborhood? It's not like this is a place filled with strangers - there are many familiar faces and dear friends to see.

But yet. I feel strange.

And now, since I hate to end on a sour note, a video of Clare singing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."

Week 15

Well, here I am at 15 weeks. As I mentioned last time, this pregnancy as been so different in the sense that I am paying so much less attention to it. And I have been BAD about doing things like taking my prenatal vitamin. I am hoping now that we are back in Minnesota, and I have a little more time on my hands, I will be able to focus a bit more on this baby.

The Baby: Is about the size of an apple. A smallish apple.

Weight gain: I've gained about 3 pounds, give or take.

I’m Feeling: I feel fine, physically. I am showing big time, and I hope people can tell I am pregnant and don't think I have a huge beer gut. I've had a few people I know ask me if I am pregnant, which I think is rather gutsy of them.

Cravings/Aversions: I would kill for a Reuben sandwich. I have been craving one for weeks. The aversions are basically gone. My appetite is good, but I am not as ravenous as I was during the first trimester.

What I'm enjoying:  Having a bit of down time after the craziness of the move. I am excited to start seeing friends again, too. Since we've only been here for a few days I haven't seen anyone yet.

What I'm worrying about: Okay, at the risk of sounding crazy, I will tell you this. I have been super paranoid that something is wrong with the baby. I have no basis for this. I look pregnant. My body is changing in other pregnancy-related ways. But. I can't feel the baby move yet. I just keep thinking something bad has happened to it. Maybe it is just the stress of the move? Luckily, I have an appointment with my new doctor on Monday. (Actually, she is a Certified Nurse Midwife, not an OB.)

Movement: Still too early for this, but hopefully next week?

Clare:  The move has caused her some anxiety. She has been very clingy. She loves seeing her grandparents, but always wants to know where Mommy is. She hasn't been sleeping well, either. I haven't heard her at night, but she is very tired during the day. She has her own crib here, but I think she is just adjusting to the new place, too.

22 Months (and a few days)

Our last photo shoot in Clare's first home. Sniff.

Well. This post is a few days late because of this whole moving thing that happened. Is happening. What have you. Most of our stuff is in storage. We are settled at Ben's parents's house. Now we need to find our own house. No biggie.

Anyway, Clare! Clare is 22 months old. She does not want to cooperate with these photos anymore.

She spent her last day at daycare last Thursday. There were many tears shed when we left. Not by Clare -  she didn't understand why we weren't leaving immediately, like we normally do. She did happily give hugs to all of the teachers, and all of the other little girls in her class. (The boys were too busy running around and being crazy to care about hugs.) Those little girls hugging each other was possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Clare's vocabulary continues to grow, and she loves to narrate, well, everything. "Sit. Book. Milk." Yes, okay. She also likes to inform me whether or not things are on or off or hot or cold. She is starting to put together two-word sentences. "One more" is a particular favorite right now.  She also says "Robby bubbles." My brother is her hero ever since he blew bubbles (her most favorite thing in the world) with her on Easter. She is learning more names, and can correctly identify family friend Ruth and Aunt "Kakie" in pictures and in person. In fact, when my phone rings Clare yells "Kakie!" She is usually right. She can also correctly describe things as blue or purple.

Her other favorite hobby is cleaning. I do not intend to discourage this. In fact, she'll sit in her high chair for an hour after a meal, as long as I keep up a steady supply of dirty dishes for her to "wash." It is also important to her that things are put back where they are supposed to be, doors are shut, and cabinets are closed. She did not get this fastidiousness from me. Just saying.

She likes to point out objects that are Clare's, Mommy's, Daddy's, Jo's, Baba's, etc. Her memory is definitely improving - today I told her we were going upstairs to look for her shoes, and she told me they were actually in her room. (Okay, she yelled "Room!") She was right.

I think Clare is doing okay with the whole moving thing. She has gotten lots of quality time with all four of her grandparents. Her crib and her Clare chair are here. And of course, most importantly, all three of us are together again.

Please do not disrupt my cleaning.

Decorating Easter eggs with Grandma Jo.

The bubble hero and Aunt Andri.

Finding out what is happening in Kim Kardashian's life.

In her Easter dress, complete with strawberry stain.

Week 13

Goodbye, first trimester. I am not sorry to see you go. I had my 12-week (actually, 13-week) check up yesterday. All is well in baby land. My doctor was near tears when I told her I was moving, but that was more because she depends on Ben to fix all her computer problems for her. I know where I stand.

So, those of you have been pregnant with second children before: did you ever find yourself completely forgetting you were pregnant? Now that I am over the morning sickness (knock on all the wood), I find myself going days at a time without thinking about the baby at all. (Don't be offended, baby. I love you and would be devastated if anything happened to you.) Of course, my life is kind of busy right now, what with the whole moving thing going on. Oh, and the other small person in my charge. It is kind of that weird inbetween stage - I can't feel the baby move, and I don't have any other pregnancy "symptoms". (Except my belly, which has most definitely popped.)

I've been recording some thoughts on this pregnancy secretly - if you are interested, they can be found in the archives. The first post I wrote is here. I was trying to do a better job of documenting this pregnancy than I did with Clare, and so I am once again stealing from a friend (thanks, A.!) and filling out this questionaire every week. Except I am not doing it every week. So, every few weeks I may or may not fill this out, I guess.

The Baby: Is about the size of a medium shrimp.

Weight gain: None so far, despite my best efforts to the contrary. Easter candy ahoy!

I’m Feeling: I am feeling good, other than the cold I am currently fighting. I am still not sleeping well, but that has nothing to do with being pregnant and everything to do with moving.

Cravings/Aversions: Cool Ranch Doritos. I must have them. I am still occasionally craving seafood, which I absolutely cannot eat (anaphalacytic shock is not good for mom or baby). I don't have any particular aversions, but some days I just cannot eat certain things. I'll make something for dinner, stare at it for half an hour, and then dump it in the garbage and pour myself a bowl of cereal. Cereal I can always eat.

What I'm enjoying:  Um. Not much right now, honestly. Ben is already in St. Paul for work, leaving me alone to care for Clare and pack up the house. (He'll be back this weekend.) I am looking forward to seeing my brother and sister-in-law this weekend for Easter.

What I'm worrying about: I said before, but it remains true: I am worrying about everything I have to get done before we move.

Movement: Still too early for this.

Clare:  Okay, I am enjoying Clare. Especially the little dance she does at the end of her baths now. I must try to get it on video and post it. It is hilarious. She grabs the bar in the tub, and shakes her little butt and sings, checking every so often to make sure I am watching. (She still has no clue about the baby.)

Three Things

First of all, I was right. Clare is not allergic to garbanzo beans. When the doctor called, he said, “I probably should have tested her for sesame seeds.” You think? Anyway, it’s fine. I am just going to assume that’s what it is. No hummus for Clare, which is too bad, because I just ate the most amazing dip. I might even go so far as to say it is better than taco dip. Gasp! It has a hummus base, and is topped with cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, kalamata olives, feta cheese and oregano. Oh, and this is key: the hummus must be garlic-flavored. Delicious!

Second of all, house hunting stinks. I have never house hunted before, but I am finding it very stressful. It doesn’t help that we’re down here, and the houses are up there. I know this will be easier once we are living there, but for now – yuck. Ben and I drove to St. Paul for the day (yes, the day) last Saturday. We looked at six houses. Two seemed like possibilities. One of those houses has since sold. The other one is really small. On Sunday, we found a house online that looked like it could be perfect for us. (Wouldn’t it have been nice if this had been on the market on Saturday?) And yes, you guessed it. It has sold. The only good thing about all of this is I don’t have to drive up there again this weekend.

Thirdly, on a brighter note, I found an article online yesterday that listed the states in order from happiest to least happy, in what I am sure was a very scientific survey. Hawaii was number one, of course, but Minnesota came in at number three! (Wisconsin was way down at number 20.) I am happy that people in my future home state are happy. I think I will be happy there, too. Especially since I won’t be far from the Wisconsin border, which I can cross to buy beer (On Sundays! At gas stations!), cheese, and maybe even fireworks.

Allergic Girl?

A few weeks ago, Clare was eating roasted red pepper hummus before dinner at my parents’ house. Suddenly, an angry red rash erupted all around her mouth. She seemed fine, though, and it went away after about ten minutes. Maybe it was just the peppers irritating her skin? Then, last weekend, she had plain hummus at Ben’s parents’ house. After a few bites, she yelled “ouch!” and started trying to scrap it off her tongue. Once again, a red rash, and some hives, appeared around her mouth.

Uh-oh.

I have severe food allergies, and have been watching Clare like a hawk every time she tries a new food, holding my breath. She can eat most of the big allergic foods: eggs, wheat, dairy, soy. We haven’t given her peanuts, tree nuts, or fish. I called her pediatrician, and she suggested taking her to an allergist. We had an appointment yesterday. I have to say, I was not that impressed with this allergist. He was one of those really “busy” doctors, who didn’t listen to what I was saying. I had to ask him questions a few times, and had to repeat more than once what allergies I have. (I will give him this – he was good with Clare.) I told him I thought Clare was probably reacting to the sesame paste that is found in hummus. I have a sesame seed allergy, after all. The doctor, however, was convinced that she is actually allergic to garbanzo beans – and possibly peanuts. He ordered a skin test to check for peanut and tree nut allergies.

The good news: CLARE DOES NOT HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY!!! (Well, assuming the blood test comes back negative, and she doesn’t react when Ben feeds her a peanut butter sandwich sometime in the next few weeks.) Still, though, we have every reason to believe she has escaped the dreaded nut allergy. However, the doctor ordered a blood test to check for garbanzo and lentil allergies. Never mind the fact that she has eaten lentils on numerous occasions. When this test comes back negative, I will laugh and continue to believe she has a sesame seed allergy. (Which he didn’t test her for, by the way.) As for the last biggie: fish and shellfish, he said we should just wait until she is in grade school to feed her any. While I agree it is unlikely she will accidentally eat fish (while it is a real danger that she might accidentally eat nuts, it is happened to me on numerous occasions), I don’t know why he couldn’t just do the skin test while we were there. I think he was too busy.

I felt so sorry for Clare when they drew her blood. She was so scared. Her eyes were huge and she was yelling “Mommy! Mommy!” I wanted to cry. Obviously, she is fine now, and probably not scarred for life or anything. Actually, she was fine about 30 seconds after they were done and she was presented with two Elmo stickers. Elmo makes everything better. (For Clare. Elmo makes me want to stab something.)

On a completely different note: Clare continues her fashionable ways. She pulled this t-shirt out of a bag of stuff I was taking to Goodwill, and demanded to wear it immediately.

This is the best picture I could get. Also: please ignore the messy floor.

21 Months

The other day, we were sitting at dinner when we hear, "Six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Ben and I stared in disbelief at Clare. Was she actually counting her peas? She was! She knows the numbers one through ten, although I don't think she totally understands the concept. As for where she learned this, it was either at daycare or from Sesame Street, because I didn't teach her. Since then, though, we've been working with her on the correct order of the numbers, and the idea that they actually represent a certain number of objects.

Cute counting aside, Clare has been quite the little brat the last couple of days, especially at daycare. She is pushing other kids for no reason and just generally being irritable. She also is testing her boundaries at home, big time. Ben has been gone at a conference this week, so I am at the end of my rope. The fact that I am exhausted isn't helping, either. I know what Clare is doing is all normal 1-year-old type stuff, but that doesn't make it any easier.

When she isn't testing boundaries, though, she is being very polite. She says please and thank you. She even thanked me for changing her diaper the other day. I almost fell over.

Clare only has a month left at daycare. I am a bit nervous about being a full time stay at home mom. I will have to find many activities for Clare and I to do. We will be living with Ben's parents' while we look for a house, so we'll have lots of quality time with Grandma.

Clare is absolutely obsessed with a Sesame Street video featuring Destiny's Child. She wants to watch it over and over. And over. I want to scream.  It is pretty cute how excited she gets about it, though. Even more than watching Destiny's Child, though, her favorite hobby is reading. We'll sit and read ten books in a row, while she bounces up and down happily on her T-Rex or sits in her Clare chair. Her favorite book right now is a collection of nursery rhymes. She'll request it by shouting "Row row! Row row!" ("Row, Row, Row Your Boat" is one of the songs in the book. However, that only song that regularly gets applause is "Itsy Bitsy Spider." This is the only time someone will applaud my singing.)

Clare also loves to accessorize. When we see my mom, Clare immediately demands all her jewelry, including her reading glasses. She looks like a mini Jo. I wish I had a picture.

Can I be totally cliche and say that I would REALLY like it to be spring? Last Saturday my mom, Clare and I went to a conservatory, and it felt so good to feel some humid air. Clare was fascinated by the waterfall, the fish, and the birds. I am just glad she wasn't scared of the animals, like she was last summer. I hope that means lots of trips to the zoo in our future.

With Grandma Jo at the Olbrich Gardens Conservatory.

A (very) rare moment of enjoying the cat's company.

Fashionista.

Blondie.